No Friend of Mine

So today I woke-up with puffy eyes from being just short of clinically depressed over some decisions I have made in relationships. Relationships that I carefully call friendships … After all, friendships are the most intimate relationships we are involved in and why older and wiser people will tell you their marriages and the longevity of them is attributed to the friendship that has been developed. Even the ones that have gone through hell and back have been salvageable because of the friendship or failed miserably because of the forgotten friendship and respect.

With that said, lets delve a little deeper into this fragile state of being and space. It is with great responsibility that we are required to guard our inner most sacred place. Our true ‘private parts’ have nothing to do with our genitals and all to do with our ‘inner circle’ (It is interesting how many men get this point ... having sexual relations without ever letting their partner into that space and why emotional cheating is so much worse than the physical infidelity). With so many mediums to communicate with the general public, we have witnessed the betrayal of celebrities today more than any other time in history. I admit this task is much harder for the rich, famous and people perceived to be in great power than it is for the rest of us as it increases the opportunities for motive: motives such as greed, fame, recognition, sex, comfort and other various temptations that cause people to abandon all morals, ethics and truths for what they see as some degree of personal gain.

Who is to blame? Well, after thinking about it long and hard, I blame each and every one of us that have befriended these shady characters. We open our hearts, lives, minds and souls and become vulnerable to these people who do not wish or mean us any good. We get signs that we ignore and if you are anything like me, you try to communicate any concern you have about them with them because you already trust them. Why would you look to someone outside of you to negate what your internal instinct has shown you?

Let me address this … one thing I did not know until recently (I know I sound like a complete idiot, but I have to be honest with you), is that when it comes to the opposite sex, when you openly communicate that you respect the friendship that has been established and want to just let it blossom organically (meaning without being forced and without commitment expectations) equates to, “I am not sure you want me as your spouse so I am going to pretend that I do not care under the auspices of friendship, just to keep you around.” I had no clue and was recently blindsided by that reality. Dealing with the hurt from realizing a couple of my friendships never existed is truly some TOUGH TITTY!!!

~AMarie